Akanyetaba Joel Birungi – My dad’s heartbreak and bitterness from his father.

Our Background

“When I was in primary one, my brothers and I had just started to love football very much. One day our father travelled and he brought us a ball. We had been asking him for it for a very long time but he didn’t have money and we knew it yet when he came back, there he was, with a ball.

We were very excited and what made it more interesting is that he didn’t just bring us the ball, he took time and played with us. He was a very tough man but from that day we started getting close to him. Our dad disciplining us with beatings had caused us to start fearing him. When he got us the ball and played with us, it clicked in my mind that this tough man loved us.

We lacked a lot of basic things at home, so him getting us that ball showed that he went above and beyond for us. One of the things I have learned from my father is that it’s possible for your storyline to change because when you hear the story of my father and his grandfather, it was a broken relationship. It was a relationship of wounding and pain.

My Grandfather

My grandfather had thirty six children from twelve wives, so he reached a time and just got tired of my grandmother. One day he told my grandmother and my father plus his siblings that he was going to sell everything and move to another place, and he went ahead and sold everything. The few remaining things were packed in the truck and when they were about to leave, my grandfather asked my grandmother, my father and his siblings to first get out of the truck because he wanted to talk to them for a minute.

When they got off the truck, he told them “I and my other wives plus my children are shifting; as for you guys just find your way in life.” He basically told them they were on their own. Everyone in the village had gathered around and it ended up being very embarrassing and disappointing for them. When my grandfather left after a long time, he fell sick and on his sickbed all the wives he moved with had deserted him. Word came around that he was sick so my grandmother, my father and his siblings had to forgive him and go take care of him despite how he had treated them in the past.

Lessons from my father

My father went through a lot of heartbreak and bitterness from his father and I believe that the only thing that helped him was the acceptance of Jesus Christ in his life.  He has been a good, loving, present father to us. He has been very encouraging, affirming and telling us that he loves us. I know these are things that everyone expects from a father but what makes it special for me is that he is giving me everything he never got from his father. All he got from my grandfather was pain, rejection and embarrassment. Because of him, I believe that with the help of God in your life it’s very possible to change your story.

With the way our father treats us and how his father treated him, the two don’t connect at all. It’s the power and love of God that was able to transform him and help him to be able to love us.

Also, I can’t say his love has been like this since way back because when we were younger there were traits we didn’t like about our father but as time went by it’s as though they just disappeared. It has been a journey of growth because by the time he had us he was still healing from the wounds inflicted by our grandfather and he was just beginning to learn about God and understand his love. God’s love has healed his wounds and filled the emptiness that had been caused by his father.

I have also learned from my dad that change is a process that takes time. The more he has understood God, the more he has grown in his love and affection towards us his children.

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This story is part of the project called “#MyFatherSeries” that we are carrying out with our friends at Humans of Uganda. We hope to share a series of life stories of different boys and men about their experiences with their fathers or father-figures. We hope this will bring healing of relationships and an opportunity to celebrate fathers every day. Above all, our prayer is that all men who share and read these real life stories will discover the heart of God the Father through our encouragement and community. 

Thank you for reading! God bless you. 

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© The DAD Base. / Humans Of Uganda

We are building a united force of men walking proudly and courageously in wisdom, knowledge and understanding of our identity in Christ. Surrendering our pain, fear, shame and guilt to Him. We believe every son needs a present father who raises them to be men who are spiritually, physically, financially, socially and emotionally strong through discipleship and mentorship.